2:22 p.m. - 2006-03-15
Harpoon Me
For truly, I am a whale.
Digestive issues are the hallmark of the first trimester, from what I hear. It's amazing what the embryo does to you. Today, it's all about the bloat. I feel like I have about 10 pounds of gas trapped in my belly, and since my lower abdomen is being taken up by the new construction project, it's all been rerouted to my upper abdomen and stomach, causing me to stick out in a very unflattering way. The fact that I'm doubled over at my desk in pain as I write this only heightens this attractive look.
I've never been a really patient person, but this whole experience is causing me to lose my patience like never before. I'm biting off the head of everyone I come in contact with. (The poor Fed Ex guy. His only crime was delivering me a package. But getting up out of my chair took quite an effort.) And, I'm tired of early pregnancy. I just want to look really pregnant, or not at all. The in-between-ness is frustrating. This morning, I tried on six pairs of pants before I settled on what I'm wearing (basic black pants). I'm at the start of the stage where you gain some weight, but you don't really look pregnant, you just look like you could stand to lose a few pounds. I'm vain, ok? And this is not fun for me.
I've gained 4 pounds so far -- not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but that's all you should really gain in your first trimester. That wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't have 4 1/2 weeks left to go. And it's not like you can diet or cut calories. You have to feed the baby, and I've been starving almost every second, so I figure the kid is hungry, too. And I've been eating really good stuff: tons of fruits and vegetables, lean protein, lots of water... the occasional slice of brownie cheesecake... so where is this coming from? Oh, right...
I just remembered that it's vaginal suppository time, so I'm off to the ladies room. Hope you're getting a good visual right about now.
