11:10 a.m. - 2006-04-28
Two Hearts, Beating as One
I'm a moron. Mommy's a moron, sweetie!
You know this already, but here's why. Have I mentioned how I rented an at-home fetal heart monitor, so I could hear my young un's heartbeat? It's great peace of mind, since I can't feel Pumpkin wriggling around in there. So for the past month, every night when I get home, I squirt some of the ultrasound gel on my abdomen, turn on the monitor, move the receiver around a bit, and then I hear the beautiful sound of the heartbeat. Only for the past month, the heartbeat I've been swooning over, gushing about... is my own.
How was I supposed to know that I could hear my own heartbeat in my abdomen? I didn't realize this until my doctor's appointment last Wednesday, when Dr. Hill used the same contraption on me. At first, we heard the sound I'm familiar with, and then he said, "Ok, that's yours, let's find the baby's." I was like, "Huh? That's ME?" And he said, "Yes, girlfriend, that's the blood pumping to your placenta." And then he moved a little lower, and we heard a *much* faster heartbeat, which was obviously Pumpkin's. It was reassuring to find it, finally, but I felt like an idiot. But what do I know? It could have been my pancreas tap dancing and I would have thought the same thing. I'm easily impressed and willing to believe almost anything.
Anyway, based on the heart rate, Dr. Hill also believes it's a boy. He said he's right about 50% of the time, and then he listened again, and thought "Maybe it's a girl." At least he could find the baby, though, which is more than I can say for myself.
I will (hopefully) be able to find out what the baby is, though, on May 31, when I have my next ultrasound, just under 5 weeks from now. I'll be 19 1/2 weeks at that point (almost halfway through my pregnancy!), so the baby should be good and ready to reveal itself, unless it's completely unlike Mommy and so modest that s/he doesn't want to show us what it's got.
I'm freaking out a bit today, and kinda sad. My good friend Alex's sister is also pregnant with her first, and she's about 6 weeks ahead of me. At her sono yesterday, they detected a problem with one of the baby's lungs, and though more testing is needed, her doctor is alarmed. Needless to say, her sister is distraught. Just a reminder that parenthood really does start in pregnancy, and that so do the worries.
I'm keeping her sister in my prayers, and hope you will, too. I say a special prayer each day anyway for my baby, thanking God for letting me get pregnant, and asking for a continued safe and healthy pregnancy, and to be greeted by a healthy baby this October. I also ask Him to watch over all the other unborn and newborn babies in the world. So much of it is out of my hands, so I just have to trust that God will watch over us and protect us.
(And you thought I was a wicked heathen, right?)
