9:12 a.m. - 2006-06-01
Cloud Nine, Lined in Pink
As you can well imagine, thinking about my baby daughter has pretty much consumed all my waking thoughts in the past 22 hours or so. I still can't believe it. I'm thrilled beyond belief. After I said yesterday that the vagina verdict showed my lack of maternal instincts, a friend suggested that no, I actually knew and was hoping so desperately all along for a girl, that I just wouldn't dare to set myself up for disappointment if it turned out to be a boy. Which is a nice theory, but I'm sticking to my guns and maintaining my cluelessness.
It's becoming more real to me now, imagining how I'll raise a girl. I keep thinking about the obvious, near-future baby girl scenarios, but yesterday I also had the chilling image of a 15-year-old whining to me that I never buy her anything, and that I'm mean, and that she hates me. I think Joe is on the same page. While we cooled our heels in the waiting room in between the ultrasound and my exam, he flipped through the pages of Newsweek, muttering something about now being a good time to start looking into buying a shotgun.
But I have vowed all my life that I would be very open and honest with my kids, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it might be. As we waited in the examination room yesterday, shortly after finding out it was a girl, I thought aloud, "Oh my God. I have to teach her about periods and bras and stuff." To which Joe's reply was, "Yeah, you better step up to the plate here. Don't do it the way your mom did."
She might not have been the greatest at teaching me about periods and bras and stuff, but my mom is very excited about the prospect of having a granddaughter. She told me yesterday that as much as she's wanted to buy frilly dresses and things, she's resisted -- she was sure it was a girl, but I seemed so sure it was a boy that she deferred to my questionable judgment.
Mom broke the exciting news to Grandma yesterday, in a conversation that went something like this:
Mom: So, Diana found out she's having a girl!
Grandma: Diana had a girl?
Mom: No, Mary. You saw her two days ago. She's only five months pregnant. She's *going* to have a girl.
Grandma: (silence)
Perhaps she was thinking about all the baby girl clothes I'll wash in the stove in my dining room.
