10:36 a.m. - 2006-06-07
The Butterfly Garden in My Stomach
I'm pretty sure I've been feeling Pumpkin move! It's crazy. I never thought it would happen (I guess I just figured that I'd have an engorged abdomen forever), but as of about last Thursday, I've been feeling the classic quickening: every once in a while, it feels like a little grove of butterflies has taken flight, or maybe a school of goldfish is swimming from my left to right sides. I hesitate to say it's creepy (it is weird, though), but it's also very cool, and such nice proof that there is indeed a baby living in there. Unless I just have bad gas, which I do, but I'm pretty sure I'm able to tell the difference. You know, my amazing maternal instincts and all.
I'm finally at a point in this pregnancy where I can say I might actually be enjoying it a little. I feel her moving, so I know she's there, and I don't have any of the icky side effects I suffered with for so long. Foods don't make me want to throw up (though I'm prone to some wicked heartburn), and though I tire easily, I'm not utterly exhausted like I was for the first few months. And it only took five months to get to this point! I'm 21 weeks tomorrow, and apparently I have about 6 or so more weeks until things get rough again in the third trimester (not as rough as before, but still -- that's all I need to hear before I mentally set myself up for a bad time).
This pregnancy is helping me to keep things in perspective. For instance, I'm not super-happy at work right now. It's not awful, but it's not great, either, and I'm stressed out a lot of the time. For the past few weeks, I really let it get to me, but as of this week, I seem to have adopted a Zen-like acceptance of it all. Pumpkin is the biggest thing on my mind, and I'm so excited to get to spend time with her in a few months -- and that thought is really sustaining me during the rough patches right now. The other discovery I've made is that eating a chocolate croissant from Starbucks can make all the difference in the world when you're stressed out. Yum. I can't even begin to tell you how fabulous they are. Heed my words: run, don't walk, to your nearest Starbucks and get yourself one. Oh, will you thank me later, my friend.
