1:29 p.m. - 2006-07-24
Showers of Ingratitude
I hate showers.
Not the cleanliness sort (though lately, it's taking me longer and longer to get in the bathroom each morning. The idea of having to hose myself down with hot soapy water is appealing from a hygiene point of view, but exhausting from a limited-energy point of view. Still, I manage. I defy anyone to smell me and tell me I stink.), but the bridal and baby sort.
I went to a dear friend's bridal shower over the weekend. Dear friend, if you are reading this, it is nothing personal -- I didn't hate your shower! And to all dear friends and family whose showers I've been to over the years, and to those I will be going to in the future (though, huh -- maybe not so much anymore, now that I've bared my soul): I love you all dearly and wish you all the happiness in the world on your past and/or upcoming wedded bliss and/or bundle(s) of joy. It's just that I hate the whole ritualistic pageantry of it all.
I know it's probably bad timing for me to say this, as my own baby shower is next month and invitations are in the mail today, but the truth is, showers are no fun for anyone but the person who is being showered with gifts, and possibly that person's mother, though I imagine that the mother starts wondering halfway through the event when all these people will get the hell out of her house.
Am I right? Or am I just becoming way cynical in my advanced age and ever-hormonal mental state? Anyway, I think a nicer idea would be, instead of having the whole 3-hour affair, to have a central drop-off point for gifts. You could drop off your present, pick up a little goody bag of spinach dip and a cake slice, and then be on your way. Ok, fine, call me tacky. But you KNOW a shower isn't designed to celebrate and have fun -- it's for one purpose and one purpose only: to let the honoree get some loot for free. Having a baby is an expensive proposition -- when I registered for all the stuff that Pumpkin supposedly needs, I almost choked on the total cost. There's no way I could afford that, hence the shower tradition. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful... but shit, I really do, huh?
Ok, I'm done. Please, please come to my shower and we'll have spinach dip and cake and lots of fun -- you can even have wine -- and I promise to be on my best behavior. And we'll forget we ever had this talk.
