2:30 p.m. - 2006-09-27
Making Progress, With a Gorgeous Hiney
It was a morning filled with doctor's appointments, and all good news!
First stop was to see the OB for my weekly check. Everything there was great, and I am indeed making progress! The baby is dropping, as I had suspected, and I'm now 50% effaced (that describes the thinning of the cervix: normally, it's about 1 1/2 inches thick, but mine has thinned out to about 3/4 inch, due to the pressure the baby's head is putting on it). I'm not dilated at all, which is not surprising, and perfectly fine, considering how far along I am. I'll be full-term tomorrow -- 37 weeks -- so Pumpkin is now out of any sort of prematurity danger, which is so reassuring. I also learned that the last possible day I'll be pregnant is October 30 -- a week and 4 days after my due date. If I'm still pregnant by that day, they'll induce me. It's exciting and surreal to think this is really going to happen, and soon. I'm finally starting to believe it, I think.
My next stop was a post-op follow-up visit with Dr. Martin, Rectal Surgeon to the Stars. I just love that woman. Right away, she thanked me for the flowers and told me how much she and her staff loved the "thanks for saving my ass" card I sent. She took a look at my most private of parts, and gasped. I recoiled, thinking it must have looked awful, but just the opposite -- she was so pleased with my recovery, saying I looked way better than she thought I would. She actually pronounced me "gorgeous," which is the first time anyone has ever used that word to describe my rectum. I was so relieved, especially since I've developed the most hideous, intense case of itching down there, and figured that I was rotting away from flesh-eating maggots or something. She prescribed more Proctofoam for me and said that would help with the itching -- which is totally normal, apparently, and means I'm healing.
I ask you, how many rectums, aside from your own, do you know so many intimate details about?
