2:55 p.m. - 2006-10-09
T-Minus 10 Days
10 days! 10 days! 10 days!
In reality, though, it means absolutely nothing. It could happen tonight (doubtful), or it could happen at the end of the month. I have my money on the latter, for no good reason other than that it would be just my luck. Then again, I have a spotty track record when it comes to predictions (witness my January prediction that I was "absolutely, positively not pregnant," and my June prediction that I would get into an altercation at Costco).
But my thought right now is that, despite how strange I'm feeling down below, it's going to be well after my due date before any actual progress is made, and that my cervix will have to be pried open with a pair of pliers, or if I'm lucky, medication designed to do just that. I really feel that way, and it's starting to depress me. But that's the pattern I seem to follow in times of stress. Get anxious, and then make up my mind that only the worst-case scenario could possibly happen to me, and then get depressed and feel sorry for myself about it. In fact, I started feeling a slight depression come over me last night, and all because I've already decided this course for myself. Later, the depression turned into a sort of resentment toward the baby, which is just awful. To this wonderful creature whom I love dearly and haven't even met yet, and has committed no crime worse than kicking me (though the hemorrhoids were no picnic, either, but I'll forgive that), I was mentally relaying messages like, "Fine. Be that way. Stay put. Don't be born. What do I care?" What kind of a sick mother thinks that way? I'm resentful toward a fetus.
Anyway, I'm hoping to be able to schedule said induction at this Friday's appointment. I'm adamant that it be scheduled for Friday, 10/27. Apparently, most of the OB's on staff at my practice don't want to schedule inductions over the weekend, and if wait until the the following week, that will put me at Monday, 10/30. Even if I'm induced that day, it's still entirely possible that I won't deliver until 10/31, and I DO NOT WANT A HALLOWEEN BABY. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm sure some wonderful, upstanding, fine people were born on Halloween, but given the opportunity to choose, I would like this kid to start out with all the advantages in life possible, and I would just rather that spookiness play as minimal a role in her life as possible, especially given the already bad-luck-plagued mother she will be born to.
But Halloween does equal candy, and that is definitely one tradition I can get on board with.
