10:01 a.m. - 2006-10-10
And That's a Mighty Long Time
I am going to be pregnant forever.
I just know that this child will never, ever come. Yeah, yeah, the due date is still 9 days away, but trust me, I know. I thought I'd be the first documented case of a woman being pregnant for the remainder of her entire life, until Joe reminded me that he saw a woman on the Discovery channel who was unknowingly carrying a "fetus in-fitu" (sp?) -- a dead, half-formed human/tumor-like thing with teeth and hair. So, ok, fine, I'll be the SECOND documented case.
This is not a prediction, I fear. It's not even a possibility. This is a PROBABILITY. Maybe even an EVENTUALITY.
It's a fact, baby, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I'll be going to Mommy and Me groups with this baby still inside of me. I'll be taking her to kindergarten while she's in-utero. (How will I describe her personality to her teacher? "She's shy.") Pictures of her at her first prom will feature a swollen, middle-aged me in an age-appropriate gown, holding on to the arm of an awkward, acne-plagued adolescent boy.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
